-
How To Build Confidence? (Singing Teachers)
Hi guys!
So I teach this 18 year old girl who has a really nice voice, however, she has absolutely no confidence!
She will sing a song that she knows really well really nicely but in an extremely quiet voice and whenever I try to get her to do warm ups she freezes.
She will do something and then all of a sudden say she can’t and goes mute. She’s really good and all she needs is a little bit of confidence and she will go a long way. She must say I can’t at least 50 times in a lesson.
So what do I do with her to help build her confidence when she isn’t even confident enough to sing warm ups or scales?
Thanks 🙂
-
27 Replies
-
Hi Wes,
I have had this exact same situation, twice in fact. Lots of “I can’t” and “I don’t know” and general negativity throughout the lesson!
The first case was with a highly anxious 14 year old. I tried everything… for 2 years.
By everything, I mean I was gentle, patient, went at her own pace… then I would try to push her a little… she sometimes responded well but other times the opposite. I tried the tough love… the counselling method… just chatting about her day. But nothing really worked in the end unfortunately. She had a beautiful voice but I think her illness got worse so she started to regress. This is probably an extreme example and there’s only so much a teacher can do until out of their depth where illness is concerned. My best advice is to keep in contact with the parents and make sure the student is always comfortable.However, yours is 18 and therefore an adult. I also currently teach a 21 year old with a personality disorder. Lots of negativity and again, a stunning voice but keeps shying away from each challenge I give her! I try to just let her do what she’s comfortable with in order to build confidence, before jumping in at the deep end and getting her out of her comfort zone (like I do with most students!)
I would have a chat to her and find out her likes and dislikes and see how her life is in general?! Also get her to talk about what makes her feel passionate about music. Aware of course, that you can’t pry too much when it comes to the “life” stuff, but just be open about listening, saying she can confide in you and that she won’t be judged. This can lift a huge weight off a students shoulders (which can take time!) and she’ll learn to trust you, which should result in her being less afraid and more relaxed and able to set her voice free!
I am still in this up and down process so any further advice for my 21 year old would be great!
-
I also talk about my own fears and my struggles with singing, so I can relate to the student and make them feel like they’re not alone and these feelings can still overwhelm us, even as professionals! With warm ups, sing with her as much as possible to begin with, and encourage the silliness! Make her laugh as this automatically relaxes most people.
-
Thanks for this Eliza! This is great, at the end of the day it all seems to come down to patience.
I really don’t mind as long as she is having fun and enjoys it. I only get frustrated because I see the potential in her and I know that she can really sing and her confidence is the only thing that is getting in the way.
I will experiment with a few different things and see what she responds to best.
-
@Wes is she able to sing the scales when you sing them along with her?
Also, I don’t know if this is helpful, but I had a similar experience with a girl once and very gradually we got her to come out of her shell, but something that was integral to the process was making sure she had recordings of the scales to practice at home and that she had a practice space that she felt comfortable with. Even though she’d be really nervous in the lesson, she was still committed to improving so she’d practice her warm ups at home by herself (with no-one listening), and then eventually that’s what gave her the confidence to try doing them “infront of someone” in her lesson. Maybe this might help?
-
Just to add to this further: a lot of my students aren’t practising (something I may start a discussion group about at some point – how to get your students to actually practice!!!) due to not feeling like they can really let go at home as they live in a house share or with partners or family. This really holds them back from actually moving forward! A lot of them practice in the car (much like myself) which still has its limits of course, as you’re not going to have 100% of your attention on the practising!
So my solution is to book a practice room. I did this for my own practice the other day, just me in a sound proof practice room. Even though I live on my own, and teach as loudly as I want in my flat, I still relate to that shy feeling of practising using all my power, as I know the neighbours can probably hear!
Booking that practice room was amazingly productive as I had to pay and therefore got the job done! I also felt so free and my confidence was improved with the songs I was doing. Winner!
Log in to reply.