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Pushy Parents (All Teachers)
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I know it’s really late, this one——
You all have great advice for teachers. We really do have BOWLS of patience for our role as teachers. One of the first things I always tell parents (and keep reminding them throughout the coming months) is that learning an instrument is learning a new language. It needs time, patience, hard work and interest. I also give advice from the onset regarding exams—the pros and cons. Make sure you are always comfortable with the points you make and parents will listen. If there are issues, I normally don’t wait too long to suggest an alternative teacher or direction. This helps resolve tensions quickly. Tensions are unnecessary. Since I really enjoy teaching, when it begins to feel uncomfortable on my part, I’m normally the first to make a suggestion to either put away exam pieces for the time being and try other stuff or give the student an option to stop taking lessons. It might be helpful to have pushy parents sit in on some lessons as well. I do this very frequently, which makes them a bit more realistic with their demands. I also look for opportunities for students to perform in front of small audiences ( recitals) which at times gives them a boost and change in perspective and they start to thrive. This does not work for all but it is a good way to give students an opportunity to “work to perfection” without pressure of exams. I also let students choose music to play alongside exam pieces, especially when there is a lot of time, which is often the case. However, it is often tricky and we all as teachers have to find a balance. Presenting your view with an air of confidence goes a long way…..
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It’s important to be honest with the parents. They have to enjoy lessons and practice first. If they are not practicing then why do an exam. Equally, grades are not the end all and be all of learning an instrument. It must not be seen as a task. It needs to start of as enjoyment!
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